If in doubt; go left.

happy thanksgiving, boners.

(Source: sea-hag)

peenslayer:

drunk me is the me i really want to be. confident, hilarious and, most importantly, drunk. 

Brilliant.

(Source: peenslaya, via robynmel)

A city without whores is like a house without bathrooms.

—Stephanie

Why is there grass on my lunch?!?


That’s chive, Grandma…

Things not to say to someone who’s feeling insecure:
‘You’re a bit insecure sometimes aren’t you?’

More Grandma banter….

On discussing driving tests: ‘Grandad said I could pass first time and so did I!
But then I drove up on the pavement…
There wasn’t any room on the road!

Anyway, he said I wasn’t safe for pedestrians’

Time to fly away

Time to fly away